Are You Feeling It? The “it” being the expression of GRATITUDE. 

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” according to William Arthur Ward

Do you ever feel that you’re sailing through the busyness of daily life like a boat without a captain? You’re setting goals and making every attempt to achieve them. You’re paying attention to your health because you know you need to, and with all the commercials and focus on being healthy, you don’t want to appear to be a slacker! You know you need to spend quality time with your family and friends. And your calendar is already overflowing. You’re jumping from one thing to another non stop.

And then … you realize that your alignment with your Higher Purpose might be suffering neglect. Wowzers! How do you fit it all in?

And then…. you are encouraged to be grateful. Because November is National Gratitude Month. Be grateful for all your blessings.

Yes, we’re in the depths of challenging times, and it’s easy to feel like life is an endurance test. Are the people in your life who matter most, as well as your body and business, conspiring against you? When thoughts about throwing in the towel haunt you, it’s a powerless place to be. And certainly not a happy place.

There is one powerful thing that can break the chains of feeling like a victim, and that is gratitude. It’s a life-changing shift of your focus from heartache, frustration, isolation, sadness, distress, and just plain blahness… to recognizing all you have to be grateful for.  Take a 5 – 10 minute break and just breathe. Think of one – just one 1⃣- thing that you are grateful for today. It could be that check that came in the mail (happy dance!) or that your kid actually said, “thank you” for making dinner! Or your orchid is going to blossom! It’s the little things. And, it takes noticing and taking the moment to feel into the gratitude.

The journey from victim to empowered is through gratitude – gratitude expressed. Take the first step. Then the second and third steps will follow. Give the gift. It’s so worth it.

The post Are You Feeling It? first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

Are You Feeling It? The “it” being the expression of GRATITUDE. 

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” according to William Arthur Ward

Do you ever feel that you’re sailing through the busyness of daily life like a boat without a captain? You’re setting goals and making every attempt to achieve them. You’re paying attention to your health because you know you need to, and with all the commercials and focus on being healthy, you don’t want to appear to be a slacker! You know you need to spend quality time with your family and friends. And your calendar is already overflowing. You’re jumping from one thing to another non stop.

And then … you realize that your alignment with your Higher Purpose might be suffering neglect. Wowzers! How do you fit it all in?

And then…. you are encouraged to be grateful. Because November is National Gratitude Month. Be grateful for all your blessings.

Yes, we’re in the depths of challenging times, and it’s easy to feel like life is an endurance test. Are the people in your life who matter most, as well as your body and business, conspiring against you? When thoughts about throwing in the towel haunt you, it’s a powerless place to be. And certainly not a happy place.

There is one powerful thing that can break the chains of feeling like a victim, and that is gratitude. It’s a life-changing shift of your focus from heartache, frustration, isolation, sadness, distress, and just plain blahness… to recognizing all you have to be grateful for.  Take a 5 – 10 minute break and just breathe. Think of one – just one 1⃣- thing that you are grateful for today. It could be that check that came in the mail (happy dance!) or that your kid actually said, “thank you” for making dinner! Or your orchid is going to blossom! It’s the little things. And, it takes noticing and taking the moment to feel into the gratitude.

The journey from victim to empowered is through gratitude – gratitude expressed. Take the first step. Then the second and third steps will follow. Give the gift. It’s so worth it.

The post Are You Feeling It? first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

Have you ever found yourself scolded into feeling grateful? Urgings from mothers, dads, teachers and other wise ones who preach that gratitude is the key to happiness , and we must express it. But the real magic of gratitude comes not from coercion, but from its honest and natural expression.

At its core, gratitude is alive when it flows freely and naturally not when it’s forced. It’s about finding appreciation in the simplest of things, not because we’re guilt-tripped into it.

Forced gratitude is inauthentic. Others have it worse so stop being an ingrate! Coercing ourselves or being coerced into the state of gratitude doesn’t reflect our genuine feelings and awareness.

I recall my early resistance to my mother insisting that I say “thank you” and express gratitude to my grandparents or other relatives for their gifts. The “thank you” was rote, and didn’t come from my heart . Not that I wasn’t grateful, but the “thank you” was not really mine.

It wasn’t until I consciously began to notice small joys like the sensation of raindrops on my face, the rustle of autumn leaves as I walked to school, the smell of bread baking in the local bakery, or the taste of my mom’s apple pie – precious moments that sparked real gratitude in me. I didn’t have to be scolded into those enriching experiences.

Embracing Gratitude

I appreciate Arianna Huffington’s words, Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace.

Moving beyond the scold to embrace gratitude as personal awareness and discovery of the beauty of everyday moments, and to express gratitude with heartfelt sincerity, makes life truly blessed.

Thank you for reading.

Our theme for November is Gratitude and our monthly workshop takes place on November 28th at 4:00 pm  (ET).  Click here for the ZOOM link.

Make today a great day…because you can!

Lorraine

The post Learning to be Grateful Without Having to be Scolded! first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

Learning to say, “no” is a powerful skill for achieving personal and business success. The struggle with setting boundaries is real. When you don’t know how to set boundaries, you will often find yourself overwhelmed and stressed. Those obligations that you agreed to take on, often find that the “yes” is really “no” and you battle the drain of energy and time.

Let’s take a look at the art of saying, “no” gracefully and pleasantly.

Why “NO” Matters

When you say, “no”, you set clear boundaries and limitations. You are paying attention to balance and are preventing burnout from over commitment and safeguarding both your mental and physical health.

NO is creating space for what truly matters to you.

Your Time and Energy

When you say, “yes”, you are gifting your time and energy to the request. This is time and energy that you won’t have available for activities that align with your goals and aspirations.

NO avoids unnecessary commitments and allows you to to spend your time effectively.

Strategies for Saying, “NO”

Clarify:

What are your priorities? If you don’t know, then requests will always prompt a “yes”! if the opportunity  is a contribution to your personal and professional growth, then the positive answer is appropriate. If not, then knowing how to decline is essential.

Empathic Communication:

When saying, “no”, it’s important to communicate understanding and compassion. Express gratitude for the opportunity and give your decision in a clear, concise and respectful way. You might consider suggesting others who might be better suited for the activity.

Assertiveness:

This is the most difficult part of the Science of “no”. Speak your “no” with confidence and speak with a firm voice. Avoid apologies or over-explaining your decision as this behavior invites coaxing you to change your response to “yes”. Remember, you have the right to decline requests.

Offer A Compromise:

Should you sincerely want to help but can’t fully commit, offer a negotiation of an alternative time or less involvement that might work.

Experience:

Like all skills, the more you practice, the better you get. Reflect on the outcomes of your decisions. Have you respected your boundaries? Adjust accordingly. Learning to say “no” is powerful. It allows you to prioritize self-care and enables you to invest your time and energy in your own interests and goals.

“When you say, “yes” to others, make sure you are not saying, “no” to yourself.”

Paulo Coelho

Join me for Coffee with the Coach  – a series of free, virtual mini-seminars on the topic of Effective Communication.  Can you think of any aspect of your business that doesn’t require communication?

Register here:  https://my.lanebc.com/coffee-with-the-coach

The post Learn to Say “NO” With Confidence first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

If you observe an addict, you will see someone who denies the problem. They prefer to keep things status quo. If you challenge the addict, they will vehemently deny that the problem exists. They will make you the problem, even though you’re trying to help them stop their addiction.

There’s a payoff for lying to oneself. You don’t need to change. Everything is perfect as it is.

Or is it?

When your status quo is challenged, it’s a confrontation. Have no doubt that it took courage to throw out the question. The confronter loved you enough to be courageous and lay the cards on the table. Pointing out that what you’re doing isn’t serving you well can elicit in you some feelings of anger, disappointment and disillusion.

Your choice is to blame the observer who courageously laid bare the truth and condemn him/her, or to cherish the truth as a priceless gift from a great friend who cares about you. If you choose the latter, you can open your heart and mind to new ways of doing things, and you can experience the rewards.

As the Dalai Lama said, “A new way of thinking has become the necessary condition for responsible living and acting. If we maintain obsolete values and beliefs, a fragmented consciousness and self-centered spirit, we will continue to hold onto outdated goals and behaviors.”

Entrepreneurs and small business owners often get into a rut, continuing to attend the same meetings or make the same connections day after day, week after week. It’s useful and healthy to revisit how your time is spent and the cost and rewards associated with it. Doing the same old thing in the same old way will produce the same old results, and may not be helping you reach your goals. It’s up to you to take off the blinders and let the sunshine in.

The post The Challenge Takes Courage first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

A team of psychologists from Duke University, the University of Pittsburgh and the University of Colombia in Bogota recently studied people’s beliefs about self-control. They found that when it came to making choices between going out dancing and studying for a test, students depended on self-reliance exercises of self-control to resist temptation. They didn’t reach out to friends for support to help them.

This isn’t surprising since we live in a society that takes pride in self-reliance. Yet it’s worth considering that people are more likely to break an addiction when they enlist community support. They are also more likely to stick to an exercise program when they are part of a group.

Support from a community, more than self-reliance, is what contributes to success.

A strong temptation breaks our resolve. It takes willpower to fight a temptation. But an even better solution is to position yourself to feellesstemptation in the first place.

Here are 5 strategies to build community support and connect with the power of your environment:

• Earlier is better. Understand the situations likely to create temptations, and come up with a plan to avoid them. Enlist the help of friends and colleagues to avoid tempting situations and events.
• Tie yourself to the mast. There is a story in Homer’s Odyssey, that Odysseus must steer his ship past a group of magical sirens who lure sailors into the ocean with enchanting songs. Odysseus asks to be tied to the ship’s mast so he can’t be lured into the dark and deep waters. This shows the power of seeing a situation and making it hard to act on its temptation. Take as a modern example the fact that you might want to cut down on time you spend on social media. You might try to unplug your Wi-Fi for a few hours or use a social media blocking app. Find ways to make your environment work with you and for you.
• Focus your attention on what you intend to achieve or experience. Look at the end goal. Be very specific. Declare what you intend to do, who you’re going to do it with, when it will be achieved, etc. Picture your dream achieved. Pictures are much more powerful than words.
• Focusing on something other than the temptation will pull your attention away from what’s tempting you.
• Let your imagination work for you. Sick of the exercise bike? See it as an opportunity to listen to music or a podcast. Hungry for fast food? Think of how you want your clothes to fit better.

Granted, there is no one-size-fits-all strategy that will work every time. What’s important is to consider getting others involved. Allies who want you to achieve provide support that confirms you don’t have to get the winning goal by yourself.

Learn to ask for help. Get beyond the myth that self-improvement and self-control are valid only when they come from within and are achieved alone.

The post Community Support Contributes To Success first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

This fundamental truth is important to remember when interacting with customers. Each of your customers experiences your service in a personal way. The exact same interaction can be excellent and noteworthy for one, and not-so-special for another. The implication of this reality is that experiences designed to serve everyone actually satisfy few. Understanding each customer individually is the route to excellent service.

While it may be out of the question to individualize every single interaction, understanding and customizing for market segments can have tremendous value. For instance, senior clients may enjoy chit-chat and conversation as part of their visit, but younger professionals may prefer a quick interaction that moves them along in a busy day. Knowing the subtle attentions valued by segments of your market is the all-important skill for providing the kind of service that makes you and your business stand out.

Take the time to consider what your customers currently appreciate and what additional attention would highlight your service for them – because it’s personal.

The post It’s Personal first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.

If “Sally” serves as a Cheerleader for you and your business, how does she do that? Does she open doors for you? Does she sign your praises to the right people? Does she give you great advice?

Cheerleaders are an important part of the game. They invest time, practice, and energy to help the players achieve their winning goals. Support of the players goes a long way to encourage play and the heart to win the game.

As a player in the business game, it is important to identify and recruit a team of Cheerleaders and acknowledge the big part they play in the winning of your game.

The post C = Cheerleader first appeared on Lane Business Consulting.